I have a terrible poker face. For as long as I can remember people have told me I wear my emotions as plain as day. This isn’t always a bad thing. When I’m mad at you, you’ll know it. But it also means I’m not very good at hiding things- especially big things. Now, I’m far from a saint – and you can bet I’ll give it a try – but it’s usually pretty clear on my face I’ve got a secret.
Lately I’ve discovered most girls don’t have this problem. I’m starting to notice a trend amongst my closest girlfriends, their friends, co-workers, you name it… girls are cheating on their significant others. A lot.
I was at coffee with a friend I’ve known for over 15 years. She started asking me if I ever think about my first high school boyfriend. (I actually don’t) Half hour later I figured out why we were even talking about it – she’s been cheating on her husband of 10 years with her first high school boyfriend.
Lunch with a “happily” married co-worker who needed advice. Five minutes in I realized this had nothing to do with career aspirations. She’s been fucking one of our other co-workers for almost two years.
Happy hour with the girls. Out of the six of us, three are currently cheating on their husband or boyfriend, two of them with more than one dude.
It’s a damn epidemic.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not judging anyone’s choices or actions – I’ve done some pretty awful stuff myself. I believe everyone is in a unique situation and it’s a pretty slippery slope when you start throwing around opinions. I’m more interested in why women are cheating more than ever. Or maybe they aren’t…maybe it’s been this way all along and we’re just talking about it more freely.
At least in my circle, the prevailing reason revolves around boredom and poor choices. Most of them got married pretty young and hadn’t had a lot of sexual experiences. If you play by society’s rules you could potentially be locked into having sex with the same person for 60+ years! (See Threesome – Maybe)
I actually do believe in commitment and partnership with the right person. I also think finding that right person is really fucking hard, takes some trial and error, and can take a long time. As girls growing up, we’re told we’ll find a great guy, we’ll get married, have babies, live on a cul de sac, and oh, this should probably happen sometime in your 20s.
Problem is…in our 20s we’re still trying to figure out who the hell we are. Good luck winning the lottery and picking your perfect “forever” partner during that time. I bet the percentage of girls who got married or entered into long-term relationships in their 20s who are actually happy 10 years later is abysmally low.
And this is why I think so many girls are cheating. We were sold a fairytale story, it didn’t pan out, but many of us aren’t quite willing to admit it to ourselves, our families, society. So we cheat.
And for the guys reading this who thought girls are less likely than guys to be unfaithful. Oops. Might need to rethink that one. We’re doing it just as much – if not more – than you. And we’re probably better at hiding it.